It has come to my attention that not all of you are away why I had quit so suddenly, so I feel that I owe you all an explanation.
I visited my doctor on November 21st and explained to him that my sleep issues were getting much worse, before that time I would regularly have what is called a night-terror, which is basically a terrible dream manifested 2 hours into normal slow-wave or REM sleep. These were infrequent and not consistent, therefore I was not affected to the point were it was a problem. But, in late November I started to have them every night. coupled with sleep-walking which happens around the same time I became violent during my sleep. I would wake up to find that I had broken a lamp, shattered a mirror, or ripped out a closet door handle, not only that it was very embarrasing to the others in my dorm and at my own home.
My doctor perscribed an anti-seizure medication which stopped the sleep walking and night-terrors but somehow caused me to have nightmares around a half an hour after I fall asleep. Basically I would go days without sleep for fear of these nightmares, all of which were very different but very the same in the fact that they caused me to be literally paralized for almost an hour after having one.
I went many days without sleep and became extremely depressed. I visited my doctor again on December 1st and he told me that I could not watch TV, play video games, or partake in any activity that could induce these nightmares, he also perscribed anti-depressants.
So I decided that in-order to rid myself of this I cancelled my account and sent surter a mail telling him to demote me to inactive. I regret that this had to happen immediately after I took the CL position and I erroneously did not make a forum post because of my mental state I felt that I couldn't do it.
After four months of sleep studies and different medications the neurologists have finally found something that works and I have been well for 3 weeks. I regret and apologize that I have betrayed the guild's trust and I am willing to do anything and sit outside for any amount of time in order to regain that trust and hopefully in due time get my spot back.
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